Dealing with infertility is hard for many couples. The impact of infertility on marriages can be devastating. It takes a huge toll on the physical and emotional well being of both partners, causing great distress and hopelessness. If you or your partner are infertile, it’s only natural to be consumed by it. More often than not, it’s the only thing on your minds. This can weaken your bond and make you feel helpless. But you’re so much more than that. Infertility and relationship issues shouldn’t stop you from leading a fulfilling life together. In Fact dealing with infertility together strengthens your bond and makes your marriage stronger!
If you feel like your bond with your partner is slowly breaking, here are ways to strengthen it and rekindle your relationship
1. Open communication
Communication is key because it’s the only way to know how you and your partner are coping with the stress of infertility. Lack of communication may lead to anger and resentment. Instead of talking, you end up yelling at each other, or worse shunning each other completely. This is the beginning of all marriage troubles. Be calm and composed while addressing questions on infertility and relationships. Ask him/her how he/she feels about the situation. Use phrases such as ‘I feel upset because..’ or ‘I’m concerned about the treatment..’. Avoid blaming your partner by using phrases such as ‘You never do this’ or ‘You’re incapable of this’. Sit down, be honest and talk it out.
2. Find mutual hobbies or interests
The effect of infertility on marriage can be taxing. In the process, you and your partner stop doing other things altogether. You’ve stopped enjoying the little things in life that brought you together in the first place. When was the last time you had a romantic dinner? Or went on a romantic getaway to a nice resort? Doing these things can help you and your partner realise that there are many wonderful things that bring you happiness! This will help you deal with your fertility issues and work through them together.
3. Help each other with chores
Women often bear the brunt of fertility treatments far more than men do. During these procedures, women face extreme physical and mental fatigue. Adding to that, women also traditionally undertake major part of household chores such as cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping. In times like these, it becomes all the more important that men take care of their wives and contribute to household chores by actively partaking in them.
4. Make an effort to be more intimate
If you and your spouse are constantly thinking about conceiving during sexual intercourse, you forget to realise that sex isn’t just for procreation. It’s something fun and intimate which brings you closer to each other. Having sex regularly releases hormones that make you feel happy and healthy! It’s a great stress buster especially during infertility. And better, stress free intercourse also increases your chances of conception in the long run.
5. Give each other some space
This may sound antithetical to being intimate, but it actually helps you and your partner to come closer. Marriages and relationships can be stuffy. It’s natural for the two of you to get fed up with each other, especially when there’s tension between you’ll. Giving each other space has shown to have a positive impact on infertility and relationships. Being apart helps you realise the good things about your partner and gives you time for solitary pursuits as well.
6. Seek couples therapy:
There is no shame in going for therapy. In fact, talking to a trained professional counsellor will help you open up about your problems. Therapy becomes important especially before your problems become too big and you’ll stop communicating altogether. Counselling helps you discover new ways of dealing with infertility and relationship issues. Often, a third perspective provides useful insights about your relationship, which you and your partner would not have seen otherwise.
7. Flirt with each other
We all love compliments! Tell your partner how handsome he looks in that suit. Or tell her how smart and funny she is. Cook surprise meals for each other and have your friends over on the weekends. Go on dates and morning walks together. It’s unbelievable how a simple gesture of appreciation can have such a positive impact on infertility in marriages.
Infertility may seem like a hurdle you can never overcome, but that’s not true. Often the problem is far more psychological than is physical. Making an active effort to be closer to your spouse is the first step towards dealing with infertility. We’re here to help you in your journey towards a life filled with love, joy and satisfaction. Take the first step and help us, help you!